So in the last two weeks I have taken some steps to help improve my mental and physical state. I have been managing and working on my wellbeing for a number of years now as you know, and am always looking to breakdown my own mental barriers and create healthier coping mechanisms. As I have stressed previously – this takes time.
This week I started trauma counselling. It’s something I’ve been toying with doing for a while. I have really noticed, particularly over this last year, that my emotional resilience is fairly low. While I am generally very stable, it doesn’t take much for my nervous system to feel triggered, and although I rarely have panic attacks now, I still shake, have adrenaline rushes and feel very anxious. In essence my nervous system is so hot wired from previous situations/events that I feel like I’m always one step away from my fight, flight or freeze response.
In trying to step out of my comfort zone and push myself both in my professional life and through personal goals, I have noticed that I get an overwhelming sense of fear (really normal when starting anything new) which triggers this inappropriate stress response. My body (and mind) thinks it’s in danger and could get hurt, which makes me reflexively shy away from this. For me, it’s become crippling because I don’t then actually create goals let alone pursue them.
I need to develop ways of calming my nervous system and self-soothing so that my body doesn’t recognise everything that is challenging as a threat. Enter trauma counselling.
Whilst there are lots of things I do to help bolster my mental wellbeing, sometimes I need extra help/guidance. My first session went really well and I feel pretty excellent about making this step.
I hope you are all going okay and as always, here if anyone needs an ear.